This article originally ran at Quirkee.com on May 31, 2007. Until I transfer over all of my articles into my archives here I'll run them now and then.
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Are You Going to Eat Those Frog Legs?
Having always been somewhat of a picky eater, my time spent in the
kitchen whipping up fabulous meals were few and far between. When I
think back on the years I spent growing up at home, the only vivid
memory of me in the kitchen with my Mom helping her cook is on Sunday
mornings making cinnamon rolls. Pillsbury rolls, not homemade ones.
This was not because my Mom can’t make homemade cinnamon rolls, but
because it was Sunday morning and we were usually in a rush to get
ready for church.
My first year of college at Texas Tech University in Lubbock, TX, I
lived in a dorm like most freshmen and meals were "prepared" in the
dining halls. I consumed more Count Chocula, Apple Jacks, and chocolate
milk that semester than any one person should ingest in their entire
life. That was also the first time I remember eating a steak.
That’s a scary thought if you think about it. My first steak was a
well-done hockey puck slab of beef on All You Can Eat Steak Night. My
dorm mates practically broke down the door to the Dining Hall at 5:00
PM every Tuesday just to be the first in line. Since I didn’t want to
look like the little dorky freshman that wasn’t as excited as they were
about steak night, I raced over with them. These guys were all beef and
potato, corn-fed good ‘ol boys from the panhandle of Texas. If I didn’t
seem interested in a dead cow I would probably have ended up in the
fountain out in front of my dorm. I would consume my normal one steak
with many sides to fill me up. My friends all went back for seconds,
thirds, and yes, fourths. Sometimes in the dorm bathroom on Wednesday
they would have a contest to see who could leave the biggest...
Never mind. That is just too gross to type.
College was the place where I learned to try foods that were not French
fries or peanut butter and jelly. I started eating salad, turkey, ham,
bacon, eggs, cheese that wasn’t Velveeta, chicken, pizza with meat on
it, hamburgers, and more. I was never a meat eater growing up. With the
exception of hot dogs, I’m not sure when it was that I stopped eating
meat, but I was definitely under the age of ten. I
remember when I was a senior in high school I ate beef again for the
first time. It was Taco Bell tacos smothered in hot sauce to disguise
the taste. I never really liked the consistency of meat when I was a
kid. I would have been a vegetarian but the just hearing the word
"vegetable" made me gag a little.
Throughout the years I branched out and tried new things. When I was
twenty-one I tried alligator (one bite) and a raw oyster (the only one
I’ve ever had) at a restaurant here in Austin. The alligator was chewy
and tough and I didn’t bother taking a second bite since the first one
lasted ten minutes. The raw oyster was slimy and almost came back out.
I blocked its escape attempt by putting up a saltine cracker roadblock.
I never really tasted the oyster and I’m okay with that.
 I also tried frog legs once. I was glad that I could do it and wanted
to be polite since it was at my wife's company dinner. The next time I
can say "No thank you, I’m allergic" and I won’t be lying. It’s true.
I’m allergic to the taste and it makes me sick. Why anybody would eat
the skinny little legs of a frog is beyond me. I equate that to eating
chocolate covered beetles. It’s considered a delicacy in some
countries. Those countries should try peanut M&M’s. A bag of those
and I am all set. The thought of eating a bag of chocolate covered bugs
makes me want to vomit in said bag.
So while I still prefer only pepperoni pizza, I’ll eat slices with
various toppings every now and them. I love a good filet mignon wrapped
in bacon or a nice juicy slab of brisket. I’ll grill chicken once a
week. A turkey or ham sandwich makes for a delicious lunch. Pork
tenderloin is one of my favorites. I’m not a vegetarian by any means
even though it would probably be better for my body. I do like
broccoli, green beans, corn, carrots, sweet potatoes, asparagus, and
other veggies. Fruit is always yummy, but like many people I surely
don’t eat enough.
My son is the same picky eater I was as a kid. He loved veggies and
meats as a baby but now mostly eats peanut butter, chocolate milk,
peanut butter, apples, peanut butter, grapes, peanut butter, and
waffles or pancakes. It concerns our pediatrician some but he sure is
easy to cook for. Besides, I am living proof that you can survive on a
single food group as a child and blossom into an adult that eats a
variety of things!
Maybe when he is in high school we can go out for tacos one night and I
can give him tips on how to choke down the dining hall hockey puck
steak during his freshman year in college.
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